Most families have one.
The person who knows where everything is.
The person who can find a birth certificate from 1987 in less than three minutes.
The person who somehow knows the password to the Wi-Fi, the garage door code, the insurance company, the veterinarian, and where the extra batteries are stored.
If you've ever wondered who should serve as the executor of your estate, that's often a good place to start.
Because being an executor isn't simply a title.
It's a job.
And sometimes it's a job nobody realizes they're accepting until after you've volunteered them.
The Executor Surprise
Imagine attending a family gathering and discovering you've just been drafted into a position you never applied for.
No interview.
No training.
No salary negotiations.
Suddenly someone says:
"By the way, you're the executor."
Congratulations.
You have officially received one of the most important jobs in estate planning.
Most people choose a spouse, adult child, sibling, or close friend.
The reasoning is usually simple.
Trust.
After all, this person may be responsible for gathering assets, paying bills, filing paperwork, handling taxes, communicating with beneficiaries, and making sure your wishes are carried out.
That's a lot of responsibility for someone who may still be trying to remember the password to their Netflix account.
Being Fair Isn't Always Easy
Many parents struggle with the executor decision because they have multiple children.
Choosing one child can sometimes feel like selecting a favorite.
And let's be honest.
Most parents insist they don't have favorites.
They simply have children who require different amounts of supervision.
Still, naming one child executor can occasionally create hurt feelings if the decision isn't explained.
In some situations, using a professional executor, trust company, attorney, or corporate trustee may be a better solution.
Sometimes preserving family harmony is worth more than avoiding a fee.
Not Every Child Is The Right Choice
This may sound obvious, but the executor should not automatically be the oldest child.
Nor should it necessarily be the youngest.
Or the funniest.
Or the one who makes the best barbecue.
The ideal executor is someone who is:
✓ Organized
✓ Responsible
✓ Trustworthy
✓ Financially capable
✓ A good communicator
✓ Able to remain calm under pressure
Think of it this way.
If your family had to plan a reunion involving thirty relatives, five airline flights, three hotel reservations, and four dietary restrictions, who would you put in charge?
That's probably the person worth considering.
Geography Matters
Whenever possible, proximity helps.
An executor who lives nearby can more easily:
• Meet with attorneys
• Handle property matters
• Collect mail
• Meet with financial institutions
• Attend court hearings if necessary
Distance doesn't automatically disqualify someone.
But if your executor lives 2,000 miles away, every task becomes more complicated.
And airline tickets tend to be much more expensive than family cooperation.
Please Tell Them
One of the most overlooked estate planning steps is simply having a conversation.
Don't surprise someone.
Tell them.
Ask them.
Make sure they're willing.
Imagine discovering after your passing that your chosen executor says:
"Wait... I'm what now?"
That's not the ideal time for clarification.
Make sure they know:
• Where important documents are located
• Who your key advisors are
• How to access important information
• What your wishes are
And because life happens, always name one or two backup executors as well.
Even Smart People Get This Wrong
One of the more famous examples involved former Supreme Court Chief Justice Warren Burger.
Despite a distinguished legal career, his estate reportedly encountered significant expenses because his Will failed to provide sufficient authority to his executors.
If a Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court can overlook details in estate planning, the rest of us probably shouldn't assume we're immune.
That's why professional guidance can be so valuable.
The Real Goal
Estate planning isn't really about documents.
It's about people.
It's about making life easier for those you love during a difficult time.
A thoughtful executor can help reduce confusion, minimize delays, and prevent unnecessary family stress.
The right executor won't eliminate every challenge.
But they can make a difficult process much smoother.
And when the time comes, that's one of the greatest gifts you can leave behind.
After all, your family will already have enough to think about.
They shouldn't also have to spend three weeks looking for the "important folder" that nobody can find.